Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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