what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize