And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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