oh god the rape fog is back!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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