So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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