Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize