is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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