i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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