??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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