I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize