I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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