I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize