it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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