She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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