don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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