She's JV to your varsity
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize