making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
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she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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