the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize