i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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