we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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