Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
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it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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