there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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