Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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