i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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