Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize