I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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