then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize