and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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