i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize