I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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