I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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