So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize