ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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