I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize