i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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