Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
operation have a gay friend backfired
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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