I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize