At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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