the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
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I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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