yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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