I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize