somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize