Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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