I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize