I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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