My brain says no but my pants say off.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
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He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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