Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize