haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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