he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize