before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize